a friend who could have been a used-car salesperson in another life nudged me back to the 1stUMC down the street on Sunday…8:30AM…to help give out sandwiches to the homeless…I’ve helped do this many times before & it has always been a blessing…& so it was yesterday as well…. ah, but how the Ego is so judgmental & critical… insidiously oozing itself into a brain that has not yet had enough coffee…teasing…whispering, why is SHE homeless? or why is HE out on the streets…& why do so many of these folks have cell phones??? …but I try to ignore Ego’s constant babble…I take the yellow ticket from each guest that prevents double-dipping or going through the line twice…& hand out a brown-bag lunch & throw out “have a good day” & in the case of yesterday, “Happy Halloween!” & most of the folks who take a bag say “thank you” or “god bless you” or “happy halloween”…& go out the door to disappear into the nooks & freeway overpasses & doorways of the streets…to become invisible to the cops & the “normal people”…there is an interesting contrast to be observed also…okay, even in the best situations, my clothing is downright casual…but often on Sunday at 8:30am, having just jumped out of bed & still craving my coffee & figuring that homeless folks really don’t give a sh*t about how I’m dress…I show up lookin’ like a slob…baggy faded pants, t-shirt, my favorite worn-out cap on my head…& well, I DO look kinda homeless myself…& so when the church-goers start arriving for their Sunday service, I’m sittin’ there at my sandwich desk right across from the front doors…& they have to pass right by me all dressed up in suits & ties & uncomfortable-looking dresses & heels & pantyhose…& well…I’M INVISIBLE!!!! most (like 98.9%) of the church people walk past me without a glance or a “good morning”…& even when I attempt to say good morning to them, I am ignored…. now, “judge not lest ye be judged thyself” & all that…if I am to be a good Disciple & not judge the motivations of the homeless folks, then I surely must not judge the fashionably attired…perhaps they ignore me not because they think I’m homeless, but because I don’t accessorize well…(but how would they know that since they do not look at me??)…of course their approval is not important to me…I am answerable only to myself & god…but in the spirit of “love thy neighbor” there’s this…I look into the eyes of my friends & my family, those I like like & love, & of my feline & canine friends, so that I might see their souls, the love that is the essence of who they are…the homeless folks often look into my eyes when they say thanks or god bless & I look back, so that’s easy…as for the ones who do not look, whose eyes I cannot see…I suppose that I must look past Appearances & know that god gave the gift of a love-filled soul to all earthly creatures…. how they take care of that soul is up to them….
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