Questions That May Never Be Answered Satisfactorily In My Lifetime:
1. Why do some people smoke cigarettes while riding bicycles? Yesterday I watched as a young woman, dressed in a spiffy, clean outfit, lit up a smoke and then climbed onto her shiny newi-sh bicycle and rolled away. It’s like WTH? Riding a bike can be dangerous enough without adding lung cancer into the mix. (She wasn’t wearing a helmet.) Now I am waiting to see bicyclists riding while smoking AND talking on a cell phone. Will I hit the brakes if they cut me off at an intersection?
2. Who buys super premium gas that costs 40 cents a gallon more than unleaded regular? Seriously…who uses that sh*t?
3. Now that there has been ANOTHER shooting at an elementary school (today in Placerville, CA), is the NRA going to advocate that 5-year-olds get permits-to-carry so that the classrooms will be safer?
4. How can a person who has a severe mental illness be declared “legally sane”? Is Jared Lee Loughner getting psychological help now that he’s in prison? Or are they just leaving him in solitary confinement so he can talk to himself all day? And if he does get treatment, will he wake up one day totally horrified at what he has done?
5. Is it uncomfortable for men to ride bicycles?
6. Why is cigarette smoking banned in bars? What’s the point? Why can’t bar owners decide whether or not to allow smoking in their own businesses? And why are there smoking bans anyway while there are still tobacco farms?
7. What will happen when all the oil runs out? (And it WILL run out!)
8. We can send text messages to the other side of the planet, but no one has YET invented cat litter that doesn’t slowly and incrementally travel to every single dadgum area of the house. Why??
9. Why is the death penalty still legal in the United States? No one who fries in an electric chair ever gets the chance to come back and say “I’m sorry.”
10. Why is there selective forgiveness in post-modern society? Dick Cheney could shoot a guy in the face, but not have to apologize. (The guy with the pellets in his face had to apologize for getting in the way!) When a severely mentally ill person shoots someone, why is he immediately deemed an unforgivable “monster”? (Even OPRAH called Eric Harris and Dylan Kliebold “monsters.” How un-New Age of her was that??)
11. If an employee can do all of his or her work in 6 hours, why can’t he or she be paid for an 8-hour day? WHY does the status quo workday have to be 8 FrEAkiN’ hOuRs?!?!
12. Do Parking Enforcement officers get parking tickets? (If there is a god, they do….)
©February 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver
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