In the Dead of Winter

In the dead of Winter anymore
I feel older

*decidedly colder*

& it is darker at 5pm than it was the year before.

As a child, did the days in December
seem so relentlessly gray?
I don’t remember….

the struggles of the days
the darkness in my soul
preoccupied me more
than dreary palm-filled skies….

every day
after school at 4
I’d hop off the bus rush to the door
sit glued to the black & white TV
entranced by “Dark Shadows”
just the sofa & me
fabricated candlelit dim
hallways old houses & fog
a flickering fireplace log
Angelique the witch & vampire lore

the old-fashioned gore
a benign distraction
from the murkier reality
outside my own door

I had scrapbooks filled with
Tiger Beat photos
of vampires witches
the vulnerable nanny
the uncanny
doctor who could not act
(fact)

All long gone
replaced with albums
of photos
of family & friends
stark black & white faces
ghosts
& mysterious places

The dead of Winter:
I remember my grandmas & grandpas
my brother
that 30-year-old uncle
& wonder
if they are anywhere
where they think about me
or can see
that I’m still here

In the dead of Spring
possibilities blossom
like sprouting leaves
& I can nearly believe
that my Grandpa Paul
knows all that I do
& quietly whispers
I always loved you….

& now….
no more vampire soaps
(zombies are dopes)

Lamps & cats & books
get me through
the shades of grays
the short, chilly days
’til the sun can do….

©February 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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About pjh95811

I am a writer and poet living in California. I love cats, dogs, nature, poetry, spirituality and the Pacific Ocean.
This entry was posted in Poetry and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to In the Dead of Winter

  1. Karen says:

    I like this poem. I used to love watching ‘Dark Shadows’ too, but only if someone else were watching with me because it seemed so scary back then.

  2. pjh95811 says:

    Thanks, Karen. It’s funny how things that seemed sooooo scary back in the day are now kind of almost…boring!

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