In the Dead of Winter

In the dead of Winter anymore
I feel older

*decidedly colder*

& it is darker at 5pm than it was the year before.

As a child, did the days in December
seem so relentlessly gray?
I don’t remember….

the struggles of the days
the darkness in my soul
preoccupied me more
than dreary palm-filled skies….

every day
after school at 4
I’d hop off the bus rush to the door
sit glued to the black & white TV
entranced by “Dark Shadows”
just the sofa & me
fabricated candlelit dim
hallways old houses & fog
a flickering fireplace log
Angelique the witch & vampire lore

the old-fashioned gore
a benign distraction
from the murkier reality
outside my own door

I had scrapbooks filled with
Tiger Beat photos
of vampires witches
the vulnerable nanny
the uncanny
doctor who could not act

All long gone
replaced with albums
of photos
of family & friends
stark black & white faces
& mysterious places

The dead of Winter:
I remember my grandmas & grandpas
my brother
that 30-year-old uncle
& wonder
if they are anywhere
where they think about me
or can see
that I’m still here

In the dead of Spring
possibilities blossom
like sprouting leaves
& I can nearly believe
that my Grandpa Paul
knows all that I do
& quietly whispers
I always loved you….

& now….
no more vampire soaps
(zombies are dopes)

Lamps & cats & books
get me through
the shades of grays
the short, chilly days
’til the sun can do….

©February 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


About pjh95811

I am a writer and poet living in California. I love cats, dogs, nature, poetry, spirituality and the Pacific Ocean.
This entry was posted in Poetry and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to In the Dead of Winter

  1. Karen says:

    I like this poem. I used to love watching ‘Dark Shadows’ too, but only if someone else were watching with me because it seemed so scary back then.

  2. pjh95811 says:

    Thanks, Karen. It’s funny how things that seemed sooooo scary back in the day are now kind of almost…boring!

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