Why Did God Make Boston Terriers?

There must have been a bit of a lull in creation process…. God was like, “Okay, I made the leviathan and the apple tree and the Tyrannosaurus Rex and bacteria…what can I possibly do to top all that?”

He looked down on the blue and green planet that he’d been working on. As he pondered, he conjured up a few poison ivy plants just for the heck of it, and added a little more salt to the ocean recipe.

He watched as a bunch of jolly Golden Retrievers frolicked on the seashore and said to no one on particular, “This is good.”

Distracted, god’s mind wandered off to a nun, a priest and a rabbi joke that he’d heard recently. He chuckled to himself. “What this place needs is a little more comic relief!”

He still had black and white nun habits on his mind, so he decided on those colors for his new creation. Since dog is god, he figured he’d razzle-dazzle up something funny in honor of himself…funnier even then that silly little teacup poodle from the other day.

God was concentrating, ready to zap. He raised his arms and was just starting to say, “Let there be…” when suddenly he heard a loud crashing sound.

“Another one of those dadgum stray asteroids,” god muttered to himself, rather startled. “I’ve got to do something about those.”

He focused again on his creative process, when he noticed something strange running around in a meadow. The thing was black and white and making a loud, annoying yapping sound.

“What the heck IS that?” he wondered. He looked down a little closer at the creature’s bulging eyes, stubby tail, huge ears and spindly legs. “How did that happen?”

One of the cherubim noticed god’s confusion and strolled over. “Look,” she said, “that land mass down there, and the water — …isn’t that the place where that Tea Party is eventually supposed to take place?”

“Oh, yeh,” said god, “Boston.”

“Well,” said the cherubim, “just as you were starting to zap, that asteroid crashed.”

“Yeh, so?” said god.

“You were so startled that there was a look of terror on your face.”

“Wow,” said god. “So I accidentally invented a Boston Terror?”

“You got it,” said the cherubim, as she ruffled her feathers a bit.

“I’ll be darned!” God began to laugh and chuckle and guffaw until he almost had a coughing fit. “Well,” he said, “I am well-pleased.”

And thus to this day does god’s little odd joke still roam the planet. The creature has no actual purpose as far as anyone can figure out…they are strictly amusing companions for that other tiny mistake that god made. It is also why Boston Terrors are not really terriers…they are bulldogs.

God’s still giggling….

©February 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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About pjh95811

I am a writer and poet living in California. I love cats, dogs, nature, poetry, spirituality and the Pacific Ocean.
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