The Only Thing To Fear Is Sphere Itself

When I was a kid, my mother used to hard-boil eggs during the Easter season. And she’d buy those funny little dye-kits at the grocery store so that my brother and I could then color the eggs.

And my parents would hide the eggs around the house and on Easter Sunday morning we would search for them. This was what was once known as an “Easter Egg Hunt.”

Recently, in Seattle, WA, a high school student decided to fulfill her community service project by filling plastic eggs with jelly beans for 3rd graders at a public school.

Good old-fashioned Easter fun, right?

Jessica, the high school sophomore, soon learned that the 3rd graders’ school had something called “abstract behavior rules.” She had to ask the teacher for permission to do the plastic egg project and the teacher in turn had to ask an administrator for the final say-so.

Well, Jessica was granted permission to do her project BUT…she could not call the goodies “Easter Eggs”…they had to be called “Spring Spheres.”

I kid you not. When Jessica took the offending eggs out of a bag, the teacher said, “Oh look…Spring Spheres.”

Well, if a Salvadore Dali painting could talk, that is probably what is it would sound like.

Luckily, the 3rd graders were not fooled by the abstract espressionism. Their response was, “Wow, Easter Eggs!”

Yes…they were EASTER EGGS.

The PC (Politically Correct) Police in our country are doing their best to take the fun out of fun in an effort not to offend anyone.

And in so doing, they are being very offensive.

Never even mind that an egg is not spherical in shape but rather it is an oval. The thing is, an EGG is an EGG…it is not an “abstract.”

And they are not “Jesus Christ Eggs,” they are EASTER Eggs.

So who exactly is it that the PC Police are afraid of offending??

The word “Easter” is simply a derivation of “eastre,” the ancient word for “spring.” And in pagan times, Eostre was the Great Mother Goddess of the Saxon people in northern Europe.

But God forbid (oops…should I not have used the word “God”?) that anyone might be offended by what many perceive to be a “Christian word” that is only related to a “Christian” religious observance.

The PC Police are so powerful that we now have “Spring Break,” “Spring Bunny” and “Spring Sphere.”

In December we have “Seasons Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas. Consumers can shop ’til they drop without having to concern themselves with any of that Jesus-y stuff.

Maybe the Christmas greeting should actually be changed to “Happy Consumer Spending Spree.”

And wasn’t Valentine some kind of religious “saint”? Uh-oh…where are the PC Police on that one? Ought we not be saying “Happy Heart Day” or “Happy February 14th” instead of that silly traditional salutation?

The PC Police are sooooo fearful of offending the twisted cultures of America’s unassimilated guests that they are basically stealing away all of our collective and individual traditions and memories.

Kids nowadays will grow-up having learned that it’s better to be PC than simply to be themselves.

They will not even be able to call an egg an egg.

As for me, I can still treasure the traditions and holidays that I grew up with. The Easter Bunny still brings Easter Eggs in Easter Baskets on Easter Sunday.

A “sphere” has something to do with Geometry.

©April 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver

Read the Spring Sphere story here:


About pjh95811

I am a writer and poet living in California. I love cats, dogs, nature, poetry, spirituality and the Pacific Ocean.
This entry was posted in Satire and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Only Thing To Fear Is Sphere Itself

  1. loloatlarge says:

    Really?! Seriously?! GOD help us all, especially the PC Police, who appear to be OUT OF CONTROL, Phyllis. I’m glad the kids called an egg an egg! Good for them! Nothing like child-like action to bring clarity to a situation. Adults with EGG on their face!

  2. june gillam says:

    awesome blog!!!! will post to my FB status and hope others read it!

  3. pjh95811 says:

    Thanks, June! : )

  4. Karen says:

    Lol – whatever next! “Spring Spheres”??? Now I’ve heard everything!

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