Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I just read a story about a woman in San Diego who is suing the Chuck E. Cheese family restaurant chain for 5 million dollars.

Now…at first I was thinking how stupid it was for Michelle Obama to wear $540 sneakers while volunteering at a food closet.

But Michelle is off the hook for today because the Chuck E. Cheese story is much, much more stupid.

In a nutshell, Denise Keller is suing Chuck E. Cheese because she doesn’t feel that the so-called “games of chance” at the restaurant are appropriate for children. She feels that these “games of chance” could cause children to become gambling addicts, among other things.

(Read the whole story here:
http://m.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/may/12/federal-lawsuit-claims-chuck-e-cheese-promotes-ill/)

Okay so…remember those games that you might find in an arcade next to the pinball machine or in the waiting area of a Carrow’s or Pea Soup Anderson’s?

You know…the silly game with the giant claw that’s enclosed in glass hovering over a huge fluffy pile of stuffed animals.

You put a quarter in the slot and you have about 3 seconds to maneuver the slow-moving claw over a toy and grab it. And generally, the claw always wins.

Denise Keller doesn’t approve of that kind of game.

A lot of us have probably dropped a quarter on one of those games, whether as a child (or even as an adult). It’s kind of like a “rite of passage” — you try your luck, you lose, you learn, you go on to other things. No biggie.

Or maybe Mom says, “Don’t waste your money on that, dear. You can’t win.” And then the kid gets to decide whether to listen to her or not.

But now, if Denise Keller has her way, no kid will get to choose whether to play the game (at least at Chuck E. Cheese).

How dumb is that? Well here…let me tell you. It’s dumb because if this stupid thing ever really does go to court and Denise Keller happens to win, it would be another knife in the gut to freedom.

Because…where would it end? Would people then start suing the vendors at the County Fair who lure passers-by into trying to throw dimes onto shallow glass plates? Or how about the guy with the dull-tipped 3 darts and the balloon board?

Does this mean that because MAYBE a kid would be upset about losing a dime in a silly game that therefore NOBODY gets to play?

Think about it…. What would the County Fair or the State Fair be like if you couldn’t stroll along with your honey past all the shouting carnies who want to con you out of your money? And, like, your sweetheart wouldn’t be able to blow 50 bucks to win you a 5 dollar green Teddy Bear! How wrong is that??

And how are kids going to learn to think for themselves if the Denise Kellers of the world get to think FOR them before they ever get the chance??

How much more “Politically Correct” and regulated must we be??

Is “fun” eventually going to be outlawed?

Will public water fountains have to be outlawed because a kid MIGHT turn the stream up really high and splash another kid who MIGHT be devastated by the incident for life?

Will water pistols have to be outlawed because they…well…they look like pistols??

Should clowns be prohibited because some kids are afraid of them?

And what about cotton candy at the Fair? Why…a kid MIGHT get a cavity!

And while we’re at it, why not ban bumper cars and team sports, skipping rope, skateboarding, surfing and ferris wheels because somebody MIGHT get hurt.

Heck…let’s ban merry-go-rounds because a kid might get dizzy.

Holy Smokes. Oh yeh…those are banned everywhere too.

Think about all the dumb laws and rules that have been enacted and things that have been deemed “Politically Incorrect” since you were a kid…laws and rules that have taken away your freedom to choose for yourself.

Seat belts. Motorcycle helmets. Bicycle helmets. Car seats. Restrictions on the number of pets. No smoking in bars. No dog without a leash. No sharing of favorite songs. (Remember cassette tapes?) No shoes, no service. No thinking. No cars you can fix yourself. No parking. No PB&J on Wonder white bread. No no no no no no no.

So in conclusion, I say, let’s just ban Denise Keller. That may not be the “Politically Correct” thing to do, but it’s the right thing to do for freedom. And it will be good for the children….

©May 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver

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About pjh95811

I am a writer and poet living in California. I love cats, dogs, nature, poetry, spirituality and the Pacific Ocean.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Stupid Is As Stupid Does

  1. Laura Jestes says:

    Bravo! Bravo!

  2. Phyllis says:

    Thanks LJ! : )

  3. junegillam says:

    Plus, folks would be deprived of the huge thrill that comes from finally winning as I did when an over-40 adult DID actually get a prize from the Santa Cruz boardwalk claw game! It was just a junky necklace, but was dear to me as the ones that got away were when i was a kid who never learned to stop trying 8:)

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