Well, it’s New Year’s Eve 2011 and I guess I ‘should’ be reflecting upon the year that’s past and the 2012 that starts at midnight.
It has been a strange year of ups and downs, hopes and disappointments, joys and sorrows, cats and fur all over the furniture, politics and poetry. But … I guess they — the years — are all like that basically.
Nothing is certain in life except for change and yet, nothing changes if you don’t change anything. It is quite a dilemma trying to figure it all out sometimes.
There’s no handbook given out at birth that you can refer to as the years go by that can help you know how best to handle all of life’s expected and unexpected situations. Most of the time I just feel like I’m winging it — a word here, an action there — and then closing my eyes and gritting my teeth, awaiting a mysterious outcome.
And of course, that which is *not* said or done, by myself or others, makes things even harder.
Take God, for instance. I tell him what I want and then take the steps I think that he might want me to take. And then I wait and listen for an answer. And a lot of times, it seems that all I hear in response are crickets.
So I’ve muddled along, seeking balance, trying to determine when taking a risk is a good leap of faith or simply a dumb, impulsive jump off a cliff.
2011 was filled with cliffhangers and I suppose 2012 will be also. That just seems to be the way of life. Tomorrow, the first day of 2012, I will still be asking God for a nudge in the right direction, just as I am today.
It will be a year of taking risks or being still, talking or listening, seeking to align my will with God’s will.
It’s frustrating stuff, but sometimes the payoff is worth all the waiting and questioning and agonizing. And a lot of times it’s not.
From year to year, that’s just the way it goes … I guess ….
©December 2011 by Phyllis J. Hanniver